my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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