I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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