**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
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