in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
