she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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