I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
