I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
