I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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