I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
