I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
