I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
40s are totally the cure
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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