Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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