My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
