Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
