I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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