He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
how does that bad decision feel?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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