I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
