I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
