You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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