Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
