I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
