Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
