Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
