we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
50% drunk capacity currently
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
