It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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