the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
