My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
