So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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