You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
