Too much gin, very little bucket
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
