some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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