I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
