Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
