I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
