my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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