I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
