I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Randomize
