Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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