as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
