we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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