You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
