all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
