I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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