never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
