I think im going to throw up on grandma
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He did a backflip because drugs
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