haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
