Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
