i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
