i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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