Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
i think my cat just said my name.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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