dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
