Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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