Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
