honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
