Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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